I don’t know about you all, but lately, I’ve been feeling super weighted down. Especially the last two days. Almost like I’m walking through quicksand. It’s a very bizarre feeling; it makes me feel super tired. I have also been getting strange thoughts and feelings.
I am unmotivated to write or do anything. I think it’s hard to be motivated to keep writing without the outside cheering me on or people’s motivating comments. A lesson for sure in believing in myself and what I am doing and helping people. Just another stage of my healing, another layer of the onion being peeled away.
I think the last few weeks have taken a toll on me both physically and emotionally. The outside world is often critical, rigid, and judgmental. Often people don’t take into consideration others’ battles and struggles. The anger and hate of the world are deeply painful to me, but I know I can’t change or fix it. I believe that this is the heaviness I feel.
I try to write about things that will help people, but often they take it the wrong way and get even angrier. The ones who are supposed to understand it, though, will. Those are the people I keep writing for and keep pushing forward for, the ones that have an open mind and know there’s so much more.
The lesson for all of us from God at this time is to step away from the outside idea and be able to love ourselves more. To turn to God to take away our pain, loneliness, and sadness. To rise above it all, to look beyond it all.
I find peace in Psalm 61 when I am feeling a little down. I hope you will too.
For it is written:
1 Hear my cry, O God;
listen to my prayer.
From the ends of the earth, I call to you,
I call as my heart grows faint;
lead me to the rock that is higher than I.
For you have been my refuge,
a strong tower against the foe.
I long to dwell in your tent forever
and take refuge in the shelter of your wings.[b]
For you, God, have heard my vows;
you have given me the heritage of those who fear your name.
Increase the days of the king’s life,
his years for many generations.
May he be enthroned in God’s presence forever;
appoint your love and faithfulness to protect him.
Then I will ever sing in praise of your name
and fulfill my vows day after day.