I had a client the other day ask me, what made you connect with God? You see, most people associate God with organized religion, and they get creeped out when you bring up God, Jesus, or prayer. I get it, I used to get creeped out too. Until I understood what we are taught growing up, what’s forced upon us, isn’t really what God is about.
I’ve always been spiritual, but not ever religious. There’s a huge difference. I always believed in God and knew there was so much beyond what we were taught. It’s true; people don’t get to know God until all they have is God to rely on until they hit rock bottom and have no hope. God is so much more than the confines of organized religion.
Let me share my story with you. About six years ago, I went through such a life-changing and hard time in my life. I didn’t pray or talk to God; I thought prayer was only done in church; I had no idea how to pray or that I could talk to God freely.
At one point, though, I was desperate…. I can remember laying on my bathroom floor, crying, feeling hopeless, and it came out of my mouth out of nowhere “God, please help me, please get me out of this.” About six months after that, God got me out of that situation, but things became even more turbulent.
I hoped the gemstones I collected and carried with me in my pockets would take the pain away. However, they weren’t solving my problems, nor did they create miracles in my life!
I went even lower. I felt alone, lost, confused, and like nobody understood me. I went to a priest at a Catholic Church because I had no clue what to do. The priest lectured me about how God isn’t vindictive and yada yada yada. The priest never told me to pray or how to pray; he just lectured me. Having that happen made me feel more alone and even more hopeless. Then things got even worse.
I started having terrible nightmares, my house flooded when a pipe burst, I was very depressed, I had a lot of heaviness around me, and I started seeing many dark shadows.
I didn’t understand at the time why all of this was happening because I spent my life wanting to help others and was always a happy, cheery, and good-hearted person. At this point, I had no choice but to turn back to God, and God made sure I got the help I needed.
The breaking point was waking up at 4 am to an owl hooting at my bedroom window. It terrified me enough to find another priest to help me. Ps. Owls are warnings darkness is lurking; I didn’t know it, but I felt it.
A friend at the time went with me to the church down the street. I was terrified, fatigued, and hysterical. I walked into the church office at 5 pm and said I need to talk to a priest. No priests were available, but a Deacon who was packing up to leave saw me and knew I needed help.
He sat me down, and listened to my story, and said something I never thought I would hear out of a Catholic clergy’s mouth. He said, “everything you are seeing and experiencing is real. You have a gift of the Holy Spirit, and God is about to show you his plan for you,” he said “ you’re in spiritual warfare, and you need to pray” soon after he put laid hands on me. I started shaking; and felt something release from me. He told me I needed to pray daily and talk to God, that I needed to learn about spiritual warfare. He helped me. God saved me.
After that day, my life changed, my work changed, and I got to know God; I got to know God outside of the confines of organized religion. God then put all the people randomly in my path to teach me how to pray, to teach me that God is so much more than organized religion. I was even at Wegmans once, and a spiritual warfare book was laying on a shelf by itself in a random aisle.
The more I prayed, the more knowledge, wisdom, and spiritual understanding I gained. Those crystals never gave me what I found in God. Funny how the devil tries to trick people. He almost fooled me.
Here’s the kicker… the priest I first went to never returned my calls for help; I left several messages begging him for help. That was a blessing. The deacon I went to was diagnosed with dementia two weeks after I saw him, and he didn’t remember me when I went back to talk to him. Interesting heh?
I still go through trials and tribulations, and intense spiritual warfare, but God gives me the tools and wisdom I need to deal with it. God replaces my fear, with strength.
So that’s my testimony. I hope it helps you understand that God is so much more, and God can offer you so much more. All you have to do is ask God for help, and he will deliver to you everything you need. Promise.
Be well. Believe. Pray.
Much love,
Jen