Here’s a little cliff notes background on me to help you understand that even though we have trials, and tribulations and feel alone, God never leaves us stranded, in fact, it’s all part of our later blessings.
From a very young age, I knew I was different. I felt different, saw things differently, I could read people very easily, and never quite fit in, I was never picked, but was definitely picked on.
As a young child, I spent a lot of time alone or with relatives. During my early school years, I wasn’t very smart; I didn’t comprehend things like other kids, I had a very short attention span, and I was always quite hyper. I always loved to make people laugh and smile, to brighten their day. Though, most of the time I annoyed them.
I did the catholic school thing for my first five years of school. I remember thinking those people were nuts, and what they taught didn’t make sense. I felt the priests were creepy, and the nuns were always mean and angry. It felt false. It wasn’t a good representation of what I thought God was or even knew God to be.
Throughout most of my journey, I lacked emotional support and or physical support. I was often discounted, left alone, or even completely ignored by people. I spent most of my life surrounded by narcissistic people who I later learned were blocking my path. All part of my lessons.
It was in my late 20’s that I started to understand better the spiritual gifts I had. It wasn’t until years later that I believed in myself enough to help others with those gifts.
Around 2010, I woke up partly due to this house I lived in in Virginia. It had poltergeist activity, and I saw and felt it all. After that, I started to seek healing and wanted to gain a better understanding of the spiritual gifts I had.
I always knew God then but didn’t pray or fully understand who God was. I didn’t understand organized religion or agree with many of the concepts organized beliefs imposed on people. So at that time my first inclination wasn’t to seek organized religion for help.
I began my spiritual journey in 2011, learning healing work and doing reiki on people. From the get-go, I was told I would fail, and nobody would want to do that. I faced adverse spiritual forces right away trying to stop me.
I even had a Catholic priest tell me to stop doing that work immediately, that it was the devil. Imagine had I listened to him…. I pushed through, certainly by the grace of God, and I kept going.
In my years of doing healing work, I began to further understand my spiritual gifts and thought I could help people differently. In 2014 I started doing readings for people, and I got my masters degree in counseling.
Then in 2016, I went through a really dark period. I was in a horrible marriage, I broke my back, I got pregnant and lost the baby. I didn’t have much emotional or physical support, so crying on the bathroom floor one night, I begged God for help. I remember thinking God hated me because I didn’t understand why God dealt me that hand at that time.
I felt so lost and alone, so I went to a catholic priest for help. He didn’t give me any Godly advice that I found profound or helpful. He told me that God didn’t hate me and that he would pray for me. He never told me to pray, though. Looking back, I feel like the devil was trying to discourage me somehow.
That part part of my life was rough, but God never let me quit.
While my life was falling apart, and I was alone, I started seeing these shadows all around; they were cold, and felt bad. it scared me, and I didn’t understand what I saw and why. I remember thinking, “all I want to do is help people, so why are these bad things happening.”
This is when God saved me and changed my work forever……
I was so terrified that I went to the Catholic Church down the street from me and asked to speak to a priest. It was late in the day, so no priest was available, but there was a deacon there. God arranged this; I AM POSITIVE. CHILLS.
The deacon, God bless him, sat me down; I was hysterical and could barely speak. I told him what I did for work and what was happening. I expected him to discount me like all the other clergy had. He didn’t, though. God used that man to help me.
The deacon said, “My dear, you’re in spiritual warfare; you need to pray; God has given you spiritual gifts to help others. God is about to show you your purpose here.” God will use you, and the devil is trying to stop that.” He then prayed over me, I started shaking and crying, and I felt a release. That day, my life changed forever (that was the day I started praying out loud and never stopped, I’ve never missed a day since.
A few days after meeting with the deacon, a priest called me, following up on my meeting with the deacon. Coincidently or not, it was the same priest from years earlier that told me to stop doing that work years prior. Again, he insisted that I stop doing readings and helping people. He did not offer any words of advice or affirmation. He also disregarded and downplayed what the deacon said to me.
I didn’t let that discourage me; I continued and began my journey with God. The more I prayed, the more God taught me, and the more I prayed, the more God put the right people in place to aid me on my journey. The more I prayed, the stronger my spiritual gifts got, and the stronger I got.
Not that I didn’t face challenges because I certainly did, but God strengthened me, protected me, and taught me many valuable lessons in those challenges.
God then changed my work, and I am so thankful he did.
I began to see the beauty of God and how the words of God could save and help others just like they saved me. So, I started teaching others what God taught me. I began teaching others that there is so much more to the kingdom of God than what they are taught to believe. I began to teach the truth about God in hopes that the people I taught would teach others the truth.
Because I changed the way I did things, I lost a lot of fake support, friends, clients etc…I didn’t care because the peace and grace God gave me was so much more important to me.
All of those things I went through in my life, were God building me to help others through my experiences, it was God dismantling me so he could rebuild me. God never left me alone; God taught me to rely on him. God taught me the strength of Jesus within me, and God is and or will do that for you too.
I wrote my book to be able to reach more people and help them heal, understand the true meaning of who God is, to inspire people with the word of God, teach people how to heal themselves, motivate people to change, wake people up, and to help the lost be found. God inspires me daily; I also want others to be inspired by God.
I wrote the book in short blurbs, lessons, and inspirational messages so the reader could absorb and remember valuable information more easily. It’s a book you can open up anytime and be inspired somehow. As you change, the words of wisdom in my book will change with you; you’ll see the words differently.
So, this one goes out to all of you who have always felt a little different, those who never quite fit in, and those who are lonely on the journey. Never give up hope.
The day you ask God for help, is the day your life will change. It may not be the way you want, but it will be what you never knew you wanted.
Godspeed on your journey. If I can do it, you can too.
Check out my book when you get a chance, much love and thank you.
Wake up, pee, pray: Spiritual wisdom, inspiration, prayer, and knowledge to help you on your journey
Jen
